Friday, May 8, 2009

Who(m) Else Would This Be About?

I am blunt. If you've ever read anything here before, you'll know I tend to be 100% candid, for good or ill. This isn't some kind of front. This is not a face I'm putting on to make people think of me a certain way. And I'm fully aware that ANYONE can read this: friends, enemies, family, associates, strangers, and ex-boyfriends! I'm not so honest because I'm ignorant of those to whom I tell my truths.

I'm honest here because I want you to know who I am. I want everyone to know what a real human being is like. I don't believe any of us are alone in our thoughts and feelings and struggles, and I'm trying to give the rest of the world something to relate to on a level they usually keep hidden. And that particular opinion is actually quite integral to my personality as a whole. I'm the girl that puts too much information about herself on the internet. It's taught me that I'm not alone. I think I'm putting my freedom of speech to pretty good use.

I realize that on occasion I might be misunderstood. I like you people. I like everyone (except maybe Steve Jobs). Like most people, I sometimes dislike situations that involve people I like. I still like those people. So if I've offended you (and I've honestly tried not to), I'm sorry. I like you. We're friends. If you need a ride to the mall, I'm so there.

I might not be very good at my attempts not to offend. In fact, the thin-skinned tend (not unwisely) to turn and run at the sight of me. I'll keep working on that.

But at this moment, this is who I am. The girl who often screws up, complains about things that are probably her fault, can't leave well enough alone, and will be who she wants to be on her own schedule. The girl who struggles sometimes even with the people she adores. The girl who changes her mind all the time because she's so frequently wrong. In a lot of ways, you're probably that girl (or guy) too. And you have every right to think you're better than me for keeping your mouth shut about it while I give away the secrets of my humanity.

Someday I might grow wise and decide to keep my gaping maw closed, but today, I'm going to publicly revel in the person I really am. I like her.


Eileen said...

*applause* Good for you!

Lisa said...

I think that the best blogs are the ones that don't try to pretend like life is always perfect. "My kids are perfect and gorgeous and everything is always going exactly our way!" No one wants to hear that. We want to know how LIFE is, and to realize that we're not the only ones struggling.