Thursday, May 7, 2009

Moles and Ants

I have a secret.

Correction: I had a secret.

And now that it's not a secret anymore, I'll tell you guys. Tim and I are moving to Denver in fall. Probably. I mean, nothing's sure until you're basically there, but that's the plan. So now you know.

Nobody was supposed to know for at least another month, but a while back I accidentally let slip to Chris that we're moving, at which time I swore him to secrecy. A while later, Lisa just flat out asked me. I wasn't going to lie, so I told her. Then, not wanting Shar to be the only writer out of the loop, I told her out of courtesy. I also happened to mention it to Ken, who naturally told April. Still, everyone was sworn to secrecy.

Then suddenly Extremely Diplomatic HR Lady knew. Out of the blue. And I'm thinking—there's a mole! Suddenly it's a dark and stormy night and I'm trying to figure out which of my dinner guests offed the butler. Either that or I talk REALLY loud. And that wouldn't shock me. I'm not the best at controlling the volume of my voice.

But EDHRL swore herself to secrecy. After that, I told both Carter and Josh. And neither of them are the type to go gossiping about something as inconsequential as a move that's at least 3.5 months away. But then today, somehow my boss knew! I mean, he was totally cool about it and really helpful, but it would have been nice for me to go to him about it rather than him hearing it elsewhere.

So who is the mole? Who is the murderer at my dinner party? It it one of the guests listed above? Or is it the maid? Or is it someone's secret twin that nobody even knew was in the house!?

I'm going to go rent Clue.

Oh, and today there was an ant on my desk, and since anything with more than four legs makes me extremely uncomfortable, I asked Chris to kill it. So he walks over to my desk, grabs my nail file, smacks the ant with it, and leaves the remains on my desk, saying, "You deal with it."

Clearly, chivalry is dead.

Needless to say, both the ant corpse and the nail file are in my trash. And Chris isn't getting a Christmas card this year.


Eileen said...

Don't rent clue, borrow my copy! And blast them dirty ants anyway...

Dude I'll totally miss you! But Denver is a good place. And I can visit you and my parents all the time. :D

Lisa said...

I think it is of upmost importance that you find the mole before you move. And make a pile of smashed ants on Chris's desk.

DENVER! Woo!!! In Denver Denver or a suburb? Cause, ya know, I'm a Denverite. Woo!!