Numerically

12

The approximate number of hours I've spent on a plane today.

3

The number of airline meals served to me today.

5

The hours of drugged sleep I've had in the last 24 hours thanks to a double dose of Dramamine.

6

The number of times I woke up from said drugged sleep to find airline meal number two either present or absent on my tray table. Also, the number of times I contemplated eating said meal only to fall asleep again before actually doing so.

38,000

The altitude in feet at which gas in the intestines becomes incredibly painful.

1

The number next to "vomit my brains out" on my priority list upon landing.

0

The quantity of brains actually vomited out.

100

The percent happy I am that my first London experience was riding the tube rather than making an offering at the porcelain throne.

20

The number of minutes it took us to figure out how to get the lights working in our hotel room.

0

The amount of desire I have to ever leave.