Saturday, May 3, 2008

New Dollar Coins - "In God We Trust"

Some of you might expect this to be about there being no "In God We Trust" on the new dollar coins. It's not. In fact, the new dollar coins have the controversial words printed—along with some other important information—on the edge of the coin, as you can see below.

So if you get an email forwarded to you with the subject "Don't accept the new dollar," feel free to toss it immediately. Nobody is threatening your "freedom." I'm not going to go into how little I care what is inscribed on our money, but I do believe that these dollar coins should be forced out of circulation.

The only people who care about these stupid things are coin collectors with nothing better to do than collect money and not spend it. So the ultimate fate of these coins will be that they become a total annoyance to anyone who carries cash, then they'll get sold for slightly more than they're worth on eBay.

More importantly, we need to get rid of cash altogether. It's a disgusting way of spreading disease! You already know that cash is covered with viruses, bacteria, and skin cells from a billion other people's hands—don't put up with it anymore! You shouldn't have to accept germ-encrusted papers and coins from anyone. Insist on plastic or nothing.

On a less revolutionary note, change (jingle) is no longer a welcome part of the American lifestyle. It doesn't fit in your wallet, so it probably clangs around the inside of your purse, pocket, or car until you lose it or forget about it. We shouldn't have to put up with them trivializing our dollars. Coins, in themselves, are almost worthless. They buy nothing on their own. So we throw them away, even though it may add up to and lose us many dollars in the end. Say no to the dollar coin.

Now, our government has made attempts at dollar coins before. We know there are problems with them. First, there's an issue with vending machines. If you're like me, vending machines are probably one of the few ways you even have to get rid of that annoying jingle. But guess what? Vending machines don't automatically update to accept new dollar coins. So you won't be able to spend new dollar coins except at other places. Then you have to deal with retail associates getting used to the new coinage.

The desire for coins is an illness shared by sadistic government officials and lonely coin collectors. Don't be infected—ask for real cash!

PS Did you know you could buy 250 dollars for only $319.95 plus s&h? What a deal!