Playing Dress-Up

It's been a few years since I had a real Halloween costume, and I'm desperate to dress up this year. Unfortunately, the only things I can think of to dress up as are

1. A vampire (which couldn't be more overdone)
2. Little Red Riding Hood (I look good in red . . . kinda)
3. Snow White (everyone likes comparing me to Snow White as a way to point out how pasty pale I am and mask it as a compliment)
4. Drucilla from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (yes, also a vampire, and yes, a very old reference, but at least she made pale and sickly sexy)

I am super desperate for a great costume this year that I can wear to work. Preferably, it's something so great that I throw a Halloween mixer—minus the booze—just to show it off.

I thought it would be great if Tim and I could do some kind of couples' costume, but most couples' costumes are either (a) classless metaphors for sex or (b) terrible, terrible puns. If I were Snow White, he could be the prince; if I were Red, he could be the Big Bad Wolf; if I were Drucilla, he could be Spike. I'm just not in love with any of those ideas. There just isn't that much to choose from for a blond guy and his brunette wife. Halloween costumes in general are boring, repetitive, cliché, or disgusting—or they're costume lingerie gone public in a nasty way.

For the Halloweens of my youth, I tended to wear things like Dad's old fatigues or my gymnastics leotard. My dad and I both used to be skinnier. Now, I find myself living in a potential-costume-free zone. In a crisis like this, I find that the only solution is to call my mother.

* * *

Okay, so my mom suggested the following options:

1. From Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Sarah Connor or Cameron
2. Sarah Palin
3. From X-Men, Rogue

Votes (or better ideas for your pasty friend) in the comments, please!