Since November

I technically have a pregnancy start date of October 3. That being the day I would have had a period had I even had one before the extremely unlikely occurrence of unassisted conception. If you want to know how unlikely, let's do the math:

Out of 42 eggs (that's 3.5 years' worth for a regularly ovulating woman), I have one baby, and 4 surviving embryos. Let's say those embies statistically equal about 1 live baby. So that's 2 out of 42 eggs. And I have been pretty fantastically anovulatory (I don't spring eggs every month like you fertile hens). A doctor once estimated that I might ovulate 2-3 times in a year. That sounds about right. So that makes it like 20 years worth of eggs for me to make 2 babies, right? And then I was breastfeeding the baby at least 5 times a day, which adds up to maybe 90% protection from pregnancy. And then I didn't have a period. Who knows what that means. Oh, and my uterus got cut open and wrung out this year. That doesn't help anything.

I'm no statistician, but I'm thinking that if I stayed under the same conditions I wouldn't conceive another baby for like 500 years.

So when I was late and nauseated in late October I figured I'd send Tim out for my favorite hobby since I stopped gluing glitter to crap: pee sticks! Safe thing, since they always come out negative, right? But then on the first flipping Wednesday in November, my FMU came out differently. That second blue line didn't take its time to show up at all. There was no squinting or guessing or hoping. There was just my fate on a little strip of paper soaked with my urine.

So here are all of the would-have-been blog posts you've missed out on since then:

"Wait, What?"
"WHO IS EFFING WITH MY LIFE?!"
"Wait, I'm 4 weeks pregnant instead of 8? GIMME THOSE DANG NAUSEA PILLS NOW!"
"Everything is Miserable" - Come to think of it, I did write this one.
"I Have a Headache"
And
"OMG I am Going to Die"

But here's the summary: I apparently get morning sickness VERY early. Missed periods make getting a due date difficult. The moodiness goes away right before the misery sets in. It is okay to have two babies under two years old. This both is and is not going to be like having twins (my OB said it would be just like having twins, and I wanted to slap him). Being pregnant this time hurts more.

I am craving egg drop soup and salt like nobody's business. My nemesis during my first labor, Dr. Jones, wants me to get a cerclage, but the doctor I trust thinks I can go without. I am getting a third opinion from someone I neither particularly love nor hate. It's stressing me out a bit. I am planning a VBAC. I'm getting all kinds of concerned care to prevent preterm labor.

So that's what I haven't told you since November.