Monday, April 6, 2009

These Pants Cannot Be Trusted

Today, at 2:05 PM, I looked down at my pants and noticed that my zipper was undone. Fortunately for me, these pants aren't the kind that will bare all in a zipper emergency. Upon closer inspection, however, I realized that the zipper pull was at the very top of its run.

That's when I remembered why I'd been avoiding wearing these gorgeous pants. They'd done this to me once before, but Tim had fixed the zipper. When I dressed this morning, I'd forgotten that all was not well with the grey pinstripes, and I put them on without hesitation (even over these hips, baby).

So (first things first) I told Lisa my embarrassing story. She sympathized, but had no solution to my problem. Before giving up entirely and going home to change into some less "flashy" pants, I visited the video department. Wonder of wonders! Laurel, being likely the most resourceful woman at Imagine Learning, had safety pins aplenty—certainly enough to hold those pants of mine closed.

So I skipped (very carefully) into the girls' room and did a bang-up job making my pants look as natural as safety-pin-closed pants can. Nevermind that someone did ask me if I was pregnant today (can't a girl crave a burrito without nurturing a uterine parasite?).

Speaking of cravings, has anyone else been craving ice lately? They say pagophagia (the chewing of ice) is often related to iron-deficiency anemia. I'm pretty sure I don't have that. I just noticed today how delicious ice smells. And it does have a smell. I just want to stick my head in the freezer and inhale for hours. Who's with me?

1 comment:

NAlton said...

You sure about the pregnant thing? Uterine Parasite bearing women have a heightened sense of smell...


(not that I have ever smelled ice...)