Saturday, January 31, 2009

Because You're All So Interested in Me

I have been tagged three or so times for the "25 Random Things About Me" chain note on Facebook. I hate those things, because usually they're a series of inane questions about the last time you cried and if you've ever been in love. I have more interesting conversations with my cat. But this particular note allows for 25 random things about me. Now, since this blog has become a virtual confessional for all (some) of my deepest darkest, I suppose 25 more things about me couldn't hurt. Let's see if there's anything left worth reading about . . .
  1. Because of an unfortunate incident with salmonella when I was fourteen, I can no longer stand the smell of eggs, nor eat kettle corn with as much pleasure as I once did.

  2. Occasionally I dream that Tim has done something to really piss me off, and my dream self tries to beat him senseless with whatever objects she can find, but can never manage to hit him hard enough.

  3. Sometimes I wake up from these dreams so frustrated about whatever I was mad at Tim about and not being able to adequately physically punish him for it in my dream that I can't help but give him a good, hard, real-life shove.

  4. I slept with a pink teddy bear named Fremont for about a year. For most of that year, I was eighteen.

  5. When my freshman boyfriend left for his mission, he sent me some of his favorite band t-shirts for "safekeeping." When I got engaged for the first time, I put everything he'd ever given me in a box and tossed it in the dumpster, including his favorite limited-edition BrandNew shirt, which he was pretty pissed about me having tossed when he found out. I secretly (well, less secretly now) take pleasure in having done this small act to irritate him. He deserved (and still deserves) it.

  6. As a toddler, I horded toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, and other toiletries under my bed. I would also remove toilet paper from the roll and pile it in my closet.

  7. I lose a little respect for married women who don't take their husband's last name. I think it shows a lack of commitment.

  8. As a teenager, I aspired to own enough underwear that I wouldn't have to wash any for a year. At least an hour of my life was spent considering the best way to deal with a full year's worth of dirty underwear.

  9. I have issues with claustrophobia, but only when things are covering my face. I can't handle it when people breathe near my face, which means occasionally I kiss the same way Tay Zonday uses a microphone.

  10. I often have nightmares about having tomato skins stuck to my teeth.

  11. When I put in a little effort, I'm really attractive.

  12. Before I stopped eating red meat, I had a severe addiction to Carl's Jr. Western Bacon Cheeseburgers. If the CJ's in Provo didn't do such a horrible job making them, I'd be there right now, groaning with pleasure over a masterpiece of barbecue sauce, onion rings, cheese, and burger. Oh man.

  13. I compulsively read every piece of literature provided with medications I take, including over-the-counter products.

  14. I got to the rank right before black belt in Tae Soo Do, but had to leave for college before I could complete my Dan training.

  15. At one point in my life, I spent 15-hour days doing orchestra (cello), school, French horn lessons, a play, gymnastics, and martial arts, all before I went home to do my homework.

  16. Now I have far fewer hobbies, most of which include sitting on my butt facing either a computer or paper. That's part of the reason why I took up making jewelry.

  17. In my life, I've gotten third place, fourth place, and honorable mentions in writing contests, won second and third place in martial arts tournaments, taken third place in a spelling bee, and utterly failed at an egg-tossing competition. I've also received an award for "most likely to star in a Pantene commercial" because of my amazingly long, healthy, sexy hair (which some of my friends would refer to as "Spanish hair").

  18. I am a decent poet, but I almost never mention it or show anyone my poetry because there are so many people out there that think they're good at poetry, but are really terrible. I secretly fear that I am one of them.

  19. I love seeing the excited looks on people's faces when I tell them I'm a writer, but hate seeing their disappointment when I tell them what exactly it is that I write.

  20. Tim and I adopted Coco one Saturday because I was extremely lonely and baby hungry after seeing my best friend's newborn baby the week before.

  21. I share an office with the winner of my company's "Spirit of Imagine Learning" award. I can't look at the large, glass thing without picturing the kind of damage it could do to a human skull.

  22. I stop and think really hard before typing the words "Imagine Learning" in any of my blog posts, because I know that Chris gets Google Alerts about the use of those words and will end up at least skimming my entry. I am occasionally tempted to say "Imagine Learning" completely out of context for no other reason than to boost my readership by one. Hi Chris!

  23. During my 'tween years, I wanted to be a forensic pathologist (a medical examiner like Jack Stapleton in Robin Cook's books). I abruptly decided to abandon my medical school ambitions when I saw a pathologist's assistant slicing organs and placing them in cassettes to be made into slides by an ultra-thin-slicing machine. The whole thing made me quite nauseated.

  24. I greatly enjoy being well-informed about the workings of the human body. In my youth I would watch surgeries on television (beats me why they put those things on TV), read up on just about everything in my parents' medical encyclopedia, and routinely browse a book of home remedies.

  25. At 16, I was a pro at multivariable calculus and differential equations. Today, I probably couldn't solve a simple single integral. In many ways, that makes me feel like both a failure and a woman past her intellectual prime.

Okay, so now I've wasted 25 topics for blog entries in this one post. Are you happy now? It's a good thing I'm so dang wonderful, mysterious, and interesting that I'll never run out of things to say about myself. Lucky you.

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